I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
