I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
