Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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