erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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