Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
