Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
