I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
