when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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