so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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