No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize