be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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