i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
