Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
