Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
