yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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