just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
