So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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