You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
