You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize