i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
