A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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