But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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