You're my little dorito
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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