So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize