So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
