She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
