he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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