I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I am naked and annoyed.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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