I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
