I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
