I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
