He disabled his match.com account in front of me
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
