Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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