Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
