She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
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