He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
