It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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