Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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