Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
