Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
