Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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