Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize