So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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