wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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