he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
