i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
soo... how was my night?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
