i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
