Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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