Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
