Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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