Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
