I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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