Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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