she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You're a waste of cheezeits
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
