So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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