They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
