I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
