8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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