you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
