dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
