and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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