Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
