we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
